All posts by Josh

You Can’t Handle the Tooth

We live in a world that has walls and those walls are destroyed by giant monocolored lizards. Who’s gonna protect us from them? You?

You have a luxury, the luxury of not knowing what I know. That a meeple’s death, while tragic, probably gained you victory points. And the dinos’ existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, gains you victory points.

You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at the game shop, you want those meeples to be eaten. You need those meeples to be eaten.

We use words like Demolish, Breath Attack, Chow Down. We use those words as the backbone of a morning spent board gaming. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor inclination to explain this game to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of . . . I really have no idea where I’m going with this anymore. Jack Nicholson for lyfe.