Videos

Sell, Mortimer, Sell!

Note: YouTube isn’t playing any of our videos at the moment for some reason. Hopefully it will clear itself up soon.

Having retired from trading orange juice futures, Stu was looking for something to pass the time. So we made a $1 bet that he couldn’t get Jeff to understand Pit and it appears that I have come out on top. I fan myself with the crisp Washington. Winning feels good. (Apologies for the shaky cam at the end. It was as painful for me as it was for you.)

Also, we have Jeff and John playing Jumbling Tower (totally not Jenga, Jumbling Tower has 6 fewer blocks) with a chessclock. It’s not as exciting as some videos you may have seen, but it’ll do.


You Can’t Handle the Tooth

We live in a world that has walls and those walls are destroyed by giant monocolored lizards. Who’s gonna protect us from them? You?

You have a luxury, the luxury of not knowing what I know. That a meeple’s death, while tragic, probably gained you victory points. And the dinos’ existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, gains you victory points.

You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at the game shop, you want those meeples to be eaten. You need those meeples to be eaten.

We use words like Demolish, Breath Attack, Chow Down. We use those words as the backbone of a morning spent board gaming. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor inclination to explain this game to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of . . . I really have no idea where I’m going with this anymore. Jack Nicholson for lyfe.